Divorce is hard on everyone, but when you must tell your kids that their family is changing, it could be earth shattering to your children. We want to give you some advice on the best way to tell your children, but remember everyone will handle the news differently.
Breaking the news to your children will depend on a few different factors. Some factors can include the relationship you have with them, the amount of turmoil in the home, their ages, and the relationship you have with your spouse.
If possible, the best way to start is developing a strategy ahead of time with your spouse. Try to tell the kids together if you have multiple children. Once you have the discussion together, one on one time may be necessary with each child. If you tell one child before the other, you are forcing one to keep a “secret” from the other which could cause some friction in their relationship. It’s important to keep the story non-accusatory and very clear, simple, and short. In addition to telling them together and keeping it age appropriate, you want to make sure that you pick a good time and place. This is a huge change in their lives and something they will remember forever. You must plan on dealing with a range of emotions and questions about what comes next.
The biggest thing to get across to your children is to let them know that the divorce is not their fault. You want to assure them you still love them and that collectively you’re still a family. Things may be different moving forward, but overall you will always still be family. Always encourage your children to ask questions if they have them and explain that the change will be a positive for the family.
Divorce is an ongoing process which means it needs to be an ongoing conversation with your children. Your child may be in denial about the divorce, so don’t force conversations. Allow the conversations evolve at their own pace.
Your child may experience depression, anger, lost of self-esteem, poor academic performance, withdrawing from their friends, and even resentment. With that being said, it is often helpful to get your child with a counselor so they have a neutral trusted adult to speak to.
The attorneys at Brown, Dutton & Crider Law Firm LLC would be honored to stand by your side during this difficult time. Jenni, Lance, and Tracy are experienced, transparent, and compassionate Georgia family lawyers that have been practicing attorneys more than a combined 35 years. Contact us today to schedule a consultation and begin planning for your future!
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