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How to Protect Children During Divorce
Whether you believe it or not, kids are sponges. They listen and understand a lot more than you might think, which is why often they might think they are responsible for the end of their parents’ marriage.
- When parents disagree over discipline, children will see themselves as a disappointment.
- When parents disagree over spending, children will see themselves as a financial burden.
- When parents disagree over work schedules, children will see themselves as a time burden.
Parents must stop and think about what their behaviors are teaching their children about what a healthy relationship looks like.
We believe you have the power to set a new trajectory for your family.
At Brown Dutton & Crider, we practice family law so that the cycle of pain, blame, and guilt can end, and parents can raise their children in the healthiest environment possible.
If you are about to start the divorce process, one of your first priorities should be to prepare yourself mentally. Think about how your treatment of the other parent is affecting your child. Know that your child is taking in a lot more than they might let on.
Don’t approach divorce with the intent to hurt your co-parent. Instead, work to create an environment to raise your child in a healthy environment that breaks the cycle of generational trauma.
Understanding the Impact of Divorce on Children in Georgia
Divorce has different impacts on children depending on their age. For children aged 6-12, most kids have a pretty good grasp on their emotions, more concrete memories of happy times in their family, and might blame themselves for the divorce.
Teenagers obviously are fully aware of what’s happening in their family, and it’s important to make sure they feel seen and heard. You might not think they’re paying attention, but they are.
It’s important to remember that you and your spouse are divorcing, not you and your children. Don’t put them in the middle or say or do anything that might make them feel responsible.
Creating a Child-Focused Parenting Plan in Georgia
Your parenting plan should focus on what the best interest of your child or children is, not what is more convenient for you.
How to Write a Parenting Plan
Here is a step-by-step guide on how to write a parenting plan:
- Focus on your child’s best interests. What is their age, gender, preferences, and special needs? What is each parent’s caretaking ability? What is their relationship with parents and extended family? What is the current quality and stability of their home environment?
- Create a schedule that is realistic for your family. Consider scheduling options, long-distance considerations, age and change, and holidays.
- Structure and how and when you will communicate. Communication is easy to leave out of your parenting plan; of course you’ll talk to your co-parent, right? Once things start to shift around the family dynamic, your kids will need more structured communication.
- Think ahead about legal custody and major life decisions, like education, medical care, religious practices, and social media use.
Legal Protection for Children in Georgia
One term you will likely hear often during your custody case is “best interest” – as in, what decisions, actions, or schedule is in the “best interest” of your child.
This just means that a judge will make decisions based on a few different factors. So, what are the “best interests” judges commonly look for in child custody cases?
- Each parent’s home environment and ability to care for and nurture the child
- Each parent’s physical and mental health
- Each parent’s emotional ties to the child
- Each parent’s ability to provide the child with clothing, food, and medical care
- The relationship between the child and any siblings, half-siblings, or stepsiblings who are in either parent’s home
- Each parent’s familiarity with the child’s health, educational, and social needs
- Each parent’s involvement in the child’s schooling and extra-curricular activities
- Each parent’s willingness to foster a relationship between the child and the non-custodial parent
- The relative stability of each parent
- Any history of substance abuse by either parent
- Any history of physical abuse, sexual abuse, or neglect of children by either parent
- Any criminal histories of either parent.
Guardian ad Litems in Georgia
In Georgia, a Guardian ad Litem (GAL) is a court-appointed individual, often an attorney or trained professional, tasked with investigating and advocating for the best interests of a child in legal proceedings like custody disputes, abuse, or neglect cases.
It is also required that before the appointment as a guardian ad litem in dependency cases in Juvenile Court, such person shall have received training appropriate to the role as guardian ad litem which is administered or approved by the Office of the Child Advocate for the Protection of Children (OCA). (OCGA 15-11-104(f))
Frequently Asked Questions
Can children testify in custody cases?
Yes, children can testify in Georgia custody cases, but it’s rare. If a child is 11 or older, they would likely meet privately with the judge.
What if one parent tries to turn the child against the other?
This is generally called “parental alienation.” Parental alienation is a process where one parent manipulates a child to fear, dislike, or reject the other parent, often in high-conflict custody disputes. Unfortunately, this is a pretty common scenario, but can be difficult to prove.
How can we maintain stability if we live in different cities?
Navigating divorce when your spouse lives in a different state can be complicated.
Here is how you can minimize conflict and miscommunication:
- Create a detailed parenting plan.
- Maintain clear and open communication.
- Create a detailed and realistic schedule including travel logistics.
- Be flexible and willing to compromise.
- Always document agreements/communication.
How Brown Dutton & Crider Supports Families and Children
At Brown Dutton & Crider, we practice family law so that the cycle of pain, blame, and guilt can end, and parents can raise their children in the healthiest environment possible.
During the emotional and challenging process of divorce, many adults focus on conflict and issues with their spouse and unintentionally overlook the emotional impact it can have on their children. It is important to remember that contested divorce and custody disputes can have a lasting effect on a child’s well-being and can impact them well into adulthood.
In our decades of experience practicing family law in Georgia, there are several commonalities we’ve identified in the individuals who come to us for help with a divorce or custody dispute.
Almost all of our clients reference something about their parents’ marriage.
Clients we represent in divorce or custody cases almost always reference their parents’ marriage. The behaviors they witnessed by their parents cause one of two reactions:
- They mirror the unhealthy behavior of their parents.
- They seek to do the exact opposite of the behavior of their parents
Break the generational cycle of trauma in three steps:
- Prepare yourself mentally
- Think about how your treatment of the other parent is going to affect your child.
- Call our office to have a conversation with one of our experienced family law attorneys.