Coping with the Aftermath of Divorce
Divorce, even if it is a mutual decision, isn’t an easy process. The process can turn your world upside down and could cause everyday activities to seem difficult. There are some things that you can do to get through this tough time.
The first step is recognizing that it is ok to have different feelings. You are most likely going to have a range of different intense emotions. You can feel angry, sad, frustrated, confused, exhausted all at the same time. This could lead to you feeling anxious about your future and where you go from here. It is important to understand that that these feelings and reactions will lessen over time.
Another important step is give yourself a break and don’t do it alone. You will most likely not be able to be at your best 24/7. Give yourself permission to function at a less than optimal level for a period. You want to take the time to heal, regroup and reenergize. While you are giving yourself a break, join a support group with others in similar situations. If you isolate yourself from others, stress levels can be raised, reduce your concentration, get in the way of work, relationships, and your overall health. Lean on those you trust and give yourself the time you need to heal.
Post-divorce you may forget to take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Take time to exercise, eat well, and relax. Invest in yourself and new hobbies. Create a routine that works for you and try to stick to it. Don’t make any major decisions or changes in life plans during this time. Instead, take the time to enjoy life and maybe make some new friends. This time should be about rediscovering you and what is going to make you happy in the future.
Now, when it comes to your ex post-divorce, try to avoid power struggles and arguments with your spouse. If something comes up that can lead to an argument, calmly suggest talking at a different time and walk away. Try to stay positive and move forward with reasonable expectations to make transitions easier. At the end of the day, this will all be helpful for your overall mental health.
If you are going through a divorce and kids are involved that will all, be part of coping as well. When you are talking to your kids, you want to make sure that you listening to them as well as reassuring them. Continue to tell your kids that the divorce is not their fault. If they have concerns listen and ease them. Be compassionate, but direct with your responses. It is best if you maintain stability by not changing their routines entirely. You also want to make sure that you and your ex-spouse offer consistent discipline. Talk to your ex-spouse about bedtimes, curfews, everyday decisions, and punishments. This will give your children a sense of stability. All in all, you want to make sure that your children know they can rely on you.
Divorce will never be an easy process, but we hope that some of these steps can help you cope a little better. If you are going through a divorce the attorneys at BDC will help guide you through this process. Call us today to schedule a consultation.