Skip to main content

Self-Care During and After Divorce

| Jenni Brown |

Divorce and family law matters can be stressful and exhausting! However, that doesn’t mean you automatically feel better. During this time, you need to make sure you are doing everything you can to take care of yourself and find things that make you happy. We have some helpful tips for self-care during and after divorce.

1. Share the Burden
Divorce isn’t easy to handle. It is an emotional burden that could be too much for any single person to deal with alone. You want to find your own tribe of people who can empathize with what you are going through and validate your feelings. When you talk about your emotions it provides you with a sense of relief and helps discharge some of the pain. The experience of hearing ourselves allows us to think better and find solutions.

2. Take your Time
Take the time to heal from the divorce. It is not going to happen overnight, you don’t want to try and rush back to normal. Introspection is a necessary step in the healing process. You want to take the time to think about why the marriage ended and what you can do in your next relationship to not have the same result. You want to start rebuilding your foundation and finding out what you want.

3. Avoid Negative Behavior
During the stressful time of the divorce process, mental clarity is key. You want to stay away from negative behavior to make the process of fully recovering from the separation easier on you. Try to avoid gossiping about your ex and remain positive. Talking poorly about your ex isn’t going to make it any easier or make you feel any better.

4. Don’t Shy from Asking Others to Help
Recognize, your life is going to change. Ask others to help as you slowly adjust to new life. It’s not only going to take time, it is going to take people who love and care about you. Trying to do everything on your own will only add stress to your life. Life is crazy all on its own, throw in a divorce and it could become too much. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!

5. Look After your Body
Stress doesn’t only affect your mental health, but your physical health as well. Eating healthy, regular exercise, and giving ample time for rest is essential towards your goal of self-healing. We aren’t talking about a revenge body here, we are talking about making sure you are taking care of yourself and not letting the stress takeover.

6. Practice Meditation
When you are dealing with chronic stress and worry, it can weaken the body and leave you feeling tired and sick. Meditation can help clear your mind of worries and bring it back to a calm, stable state. According to Project Meditation, meditation improved anxiety levels 60% of the time. Meditation will give you a sense of well-being to seize the initiative to turn your life around.

7. Practice Self-Compassion
The hardest thing to do during a separation is not blaming yourself. During this time though, you must do the opposite. You have to treat yourself kindly, appreciate yourself, engage in positive and motivational self-talk. Begin to understand yourself and your feelings.

8. Seek Out Counseling or Support Groups
Counseling can be helpful for both parties engaged in a divorce proceeding to help end the marriage on cordial terms and allow them to be good co-parents if children are involved. Getting counseling on your own is also helpful to help with your self-journey after divorce. Support groups are also a good place to help you find people that you can lean on and truly understand what you are going through.

9. Start Writing
Have a lot of feelings floating around in your head? Write it down! Writing is a highly therapeutic activity. It brings relief to your mind and can put your thoughts at ease. Having a journal can help you track emotions and establish some sense of order. Writing is an amazing tool to also use during counseling.

10. Nurture your Social Connections
While you are going through divorce, you may find yourself alone more. Use this time to work on strengthening connections with family and friends. You want to create a wide network of healthy relationships that you can count on to be there for you during and after divorce.

Divorce is a process and can take a toll on you. It is very important to take care of yourself and make sure you are growing through the process. Lean on your village, give in to your emotions, and know that you can do this!